Life got flipped upside down, and anyone who has been through a major life-flippage can attest to the fact that disorientation leads to a lack of felt safety, a lack of calm, groundedness, security.

It is my opinion that humans did not evolve to live as rugged individuals, living lives of solitary existence and meeting all of our own needs in a vaccum. And yet, there can be such a focus on self-reliance that the concept is taken to an extreme and we tell ourselves that we should be able to do it ALL… to be a good cook, a sound financial planner, to know what types of exercises are best for our bodies, to have the discipline to meditate daily, to grow our own food, to DIY our lives.

We are moving into a season of shedding.

Whether by internal choice or external necessity, we are evolving. We are shedding jobs with employers who do not value our gifts or who display an attachment to oppressive systems. We are dropping the importance of "climbing the corporate ladder" in order to prioritize personal and family wellness. We are being forced to problem solve in ways that lend us to asking our community for help, dropping our rugged independence and inflated egos.

Less is more. 

 This is obvious when it comes to downsizing to actually fit your life, your clothes, your toys, your books and work supplies, your special items, your toiletries, your dog supplies, your bedding and stove and kitchen materials, and food…. all into a tiny van. But I am finding that the concept holds true beyond the confines of the van.

The morning light appears rose-like through the tinted windows. I stretch and take a moment to linger in the pocket of warmth under the down blanket, feeling the softness of a jersey cotton sheet and folded eggcrate foam beneath me, further cushioning the paco pad and plywood bedframe. My companion is already gazing outside, her ears alert and eyes scanning the woods for a hint of the scents she may discover, residues of the raucous nightlife in these parts. She’s patient, to a point.

I find it easier to know, to feel the truth of my bones supporting my layers of organs, muscle, tissue, skin, to let my shoulders slide down, to let my cheek muscles slacken and my lips part, to feel the muscles around my eyes become soft and receptive, to stand like a mountain and feel the rootedness of my feet to the earth…

How does you know if you are pursuing your purpose and receiving help from the universe or if you are being distracted by a sparkling piece of clutter that is delaying your journey, or worse, pulling you down a different path?

Where we place our attention shapes our experience.

I’m not sure if this is a verbatim quote from another person or a way that a common concept has been rolled around in my own mind and eventually emerged with these exact words. From a positive psychology mindset it can mean that by focusing on the negative we are more likely to notice the negative, and vice versa. From a somatic, or nervous system lens it can mean that if we orient towards a threat we will feel unsafe (anxious), whereas if we orient to safety we can find calm in our bodies. 

Jennis Warren, a participant on the recent “Rugged Renewal in Baja” retreat, writes of her experience sea kayak expeditioning in Baja, the unexpected lessons, the challenges, and the shift in perspective on her life back home: “At 37 I am still single, and childless— two things I never thought would be true of my life at this time. So I made a resolution to say “yes” to everything in 2019. When the ARC Newsletter hit my email inbox and invited me to say yes to rugged renewal, it was as though the universe was trying to tell me something…. Being out on the water for seven days— watching the tide come in and out, moving around all the hard edges that disappear as the tide flows, reappearing hours later as it ebbs— was inspiration in itself.”

In Spring, in a time when we are emerging from our Winter hibernation, we move from a place of stillness. We start to stretch the cobwebs in and around our bodies and invite the seed that was silently stored in cold darkness, integrating, to push up and act upon the past year’s learnings. 

I feel my body slowing into what some might call patience, but that would imply that I am waiting for some end, for some outcome, some destination. I feel it as a slowing into trust, an enhanced ability to observe all that comes and goes, and not get too attached to any one state of being, to any one emotion (be it enjoyable or agonizing).

As I drive my small van across this profoundly beautiful country, I am alternating between diving into sweet visits with friends and enjoying a solo approach to life. As a house guest it’s been amazing to sleep in a bed, take hot showers, begin the day in a warm space without the need to pack and unpack my kitchen…

It strikes me that life happens in-between. We set a goal; the achievement is just a moment in time, but the process of getting there, that is life… To move slowly enough to notice the changes… how often do we do this?

Both flowers are hardy opportunists. They explode across a meadow or along a roadside where they can access sunlight; they are not timid with their growth, but rather exuberant in their expression… The goldenrod and fireweed find certain conditions, and then they GO FOR IT!

It is a time of year to linger, to immerse ourselves in our senses. To connect with the great mother. The fruit is ripe, the hard work of the early growing season has slowed, and we are starting to have the ever so slightest break in the heat for moments of the day.... reminding us that the dark is coming. And while I do relish the opportunity to move into the slower months and all that they bring, it's not time to leave quite yet. But can it be time to feel the warmth on our backs? To receive this delicious time of ease? 

In the midst of personal transition and change, I am all the more reminded of how fundamental my connection to the natural world is to my ability to get out of my busy mind and into my calm body… It’s not that I had sorted things out in my head, or that any questions were answered, it’s that my mind had bowed to the wisdom of the heart, and my body took the lead.

“If you want to take the island, burn the boats.” -Julius Caesar

While Caesar meant it with regard to eliminating his navy’s escape route when attempting to conquer another country, the idea applies more broadly to the concept of full commitment, of clarity of purpose, of letting go of what might feel more safe or familiar in order to have the capacity to reach towards and take hold of the new direction with both hands. 

Attention and Intention... Two words that I believe could change the world… and seem to be changing mine.

Some friends have recently started a podcast about the idea of unsubscribing from the “normal” approach to life. It features interviews with individuals who have chosen alternative paths in one way or another... I have a different ear while listening to this new creation, perhaps because it’s new, perhaps because I have a bit of the behind-the-scenes process, but it occurred to me recently that I’ve never considered the art of interviewing before… which is funny because my job as a therapist is very similar: a series of questions.

Shifting perspectives... sometimes it is something we pursue: a different take on our lives, a new angle on our relationships, a renewal of excitement for our work, the capacity to have more patience, more energy, less frustration, a change that will help us experience greater ease in life … but sometimes we are forced to shift perspectives.